I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
