4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I don't think brook has ever known best
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
