Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
