I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
