so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize