so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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