i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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