ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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