At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
