Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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