now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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