In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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