so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
