The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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