You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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