If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
