I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
