I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
