doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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