You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
