i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
