New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
