Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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