people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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