That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
