I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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