I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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