you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
