Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
