the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize