someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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