Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
