In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
