Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
