i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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