No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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