I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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