you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How external is "for external use only"?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
