oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
