well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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