Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
