I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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