we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize