She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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