OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Oh god it's open bar.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
