Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She needs sedatives and a leash
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
