I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
