I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
