And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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