we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
