so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize