Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
