the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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