Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
