I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
