he wants to bone in the snuggie
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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