it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
