just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
