It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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