Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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