i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
