I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
