I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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