Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
