dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
