He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
