I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
