u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
