You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
