when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
