I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
