just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize