Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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